Wow.
This has got to be the sadest things I've read in a while:
“I don’t want anything. We. We don’t want anything.”
“Well how about—“
“Stop it!” Gerard exploded, standing up. Mikey looked as surprised as Brian felt. “Just stop it!”
It was funny, actually, how much easier it was to keep his temper now that Brian planned to be in it for the long haul. “Stop what?” he asked mildly. “Stop being nice to you?”
“Yes!” Gerard snapped.
Brian just barely stopped himself from rolling his eyes. “Gerard,” he said, “that’s pretty unreasonable.”
“I don’t care,” Gerard said furiously. “I don’t want you to be nice to us. I want you to go away.”
“My house,” Brian pointed out.
Gerard stomped his foot. “I don’t care!” he yelled again. “Stop it! Leave me alone!”
“Stop being nice to you?”
“Yes!” Gerard took a deep breath. He was on the verge of tears , Brian realized suddenly, but they were clearly tears of frustration.
Last night, when he was upset, he started telling me things, Brian thought, and deliberately pushed. “Why can’t I be nice to you and Mikey?” he asked, dropping his voice.
“Because,” Gerard said, desperately upset, “the nice ones always go away.” His voice broke and he crossed his arms tightly across his chest.
Brian felt like he’d been punched. “I’m not going anywhere,” he said.
“You can’t promise that,” Gerard whispered. He wiped tears off his cheek with the back of his hand. “Mr. Rossi was nice and he had a heart attack. The Edwards were nice and they decided to adopt someone else and we had to leave. Our parents were nice and they never came home. You can’t promise anything.”
Oh, Jesus. Brian had really hoped to have a few more days before this kind of storm broke. “Gerard,” he said. “I—“
“I don’t want your stuff and I don’t want your house and I don’t want you,” Gerard said, almost sobbing. “You have to stop being so nice to us all the time. It isn’t – it isn’t nice. It’s like teasing or something, and I know you’re gonna call the cops to come and get us and I – I – I—“ he hiccupped for breath “—and I know it
isn’t fair to Mikey, either, but we can’t go back to him and I—“
Brian stepped across the room and grabbed Gerard, drawing him in to a hug. Gerard pushed him away for a second, and then just collapsed, like a puppet with cut strings, sobbing against Brian’s neck. They ended up awkwardly kneeling on the floor, Brian holding Gerard up with an arm around his back and the other rubbing soothingly against Gerard’s neck.
Twice in a day, Brian thought. This had better not be a pattern. “Hey,” he said, looking pastGerard to Mikey, who was sitting up with wide, terrified eyes. “It’s gonna be okay.”
“No it’s not,” Gerard wailed. “Nothing is okay. Nothing is ever, ever okay.”
There wasn’t much Brian could say to that, so he didn’t try. Mikey, however, climbed out of bed and came over to join them. He put his arms around his brother’s neck, and Brian backed off to let him take over. “It’s okay, Gee,” Mikey said softly. “I feel better, and Brian’s the good kind of nice. Okay?”
The weirdest part, Brian decided, was that as overwhelmed and terrified as he felt in the face of a crying kid, he was just as sure as ever that he’d made the right decision. Gerard needed people to be nice to him, and someone to help him take care of Mikey. Mikey needed someone to help him take care of Gerard.
-
I read that, and my heart just melted away, because two orphaned brothers? Just so sad.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Just A High School Rocker
How I love Fridays. Every single week, as the days pass, I always look towards Fridays.
You ask why? Well, duh. CF. It's one of the things I love about SMKSU. The afternoon session and the morning session all gathered together to praise and worship God. A lot of schools in Malaysia don't have the opportunity to have a CF in their schools, so I feel really thankful that my school does.
Today we watched a video about this man, Neville Tan, who used to be involved in gang violence in Singapore back when the Japanese were invading the area. He was thrown into prison after confeesing to a murder that he didn't commit, and there, he repented and found God after someone in a different cell gave him seven pages to read from the book of Luke. It was really inspiring to hear that even a man locked up in prison could be saved by God's word. He managed to finish school, and he went to bible college, where he then met his wife and later on became a missionary.
Speaking about the bible, the Bible Knowledge Quiz in Assunta is tomorrow. Oh, I've studied Acts chapter 1-10 more than seven times, and hopefully I can answer the quiz well tomorrow. The people who are going have to get to school at 6:30 tomorrow, for the bus leaves at 6:45 sharp. Hope I can wake up. Acts is full of inspiring things. Like how Saul, who persecuted so many of Jesus's followers, became a man of faith after Jesus appeared to him and took away his sight, and only then did he realise that Jesus of Nazareth could do many miracles. And about Simon Peter having that vision meaning that even Gentiles(non-Jews) could be saved by God as well. It's really a book of wondrous acts.
Congratulations to the choral speakers on getting fourth place in the competition this morning! Even though La Salle PJ won, I'm sure you guys gave your all! Remember, there's always next year.
And, I hear that Jeremy Ong has fallen ill. Hmm. A few friends were wondering where he was during CF. Well, we all wish you a speedy recovery, and we're all praying for you. God bless you. :)
Nat.
You ask why? Well, duh. CF. It's one of the things I love about SMKSU. The afternoon session and the morning session all gathered together to praise and worship God. A lot of schools in Malaysia don't have the opportunity to have a CF in their schools, so I feel really thankful that my school does.
Today we watched a video about this man, Neville Tan, who used to be involved in gang violence in Singapore back when the Japanese were invading the area. He was thrown into prison after confeesing to a murder that he didn't commit, and there, he repented and found God after someone in a different cell gave him seven pages to read from the book of Luke. It was really inspiring to hear that even a man locked up in prison could be saved by God's word. He managed to finish school, and he went to bible college, where he then met his wife and later on became a missionary.
Speaking about the bible, the Bible Knowledge Quiz in Assunta is tomorrow. Oh, I've studied Acts chapter 1-10 more than seven times, and hopefully I can answer the quiz well tomorrow. The people who are going have to get to school at 6:30 tomorrow, for the bus leaves at 6:45 sharp. Hope I can wake up. Acts is full of inspiring things. Like how Saul, who persecuted so many of Jesus's followers, became a man of faith after Jesus appeared to him and took away his sight, and only then did he realise that Jesus of Nazareth could do many miracles. And about Simon Peter having that vision meaning that even Gentiles(non-Jews) could be saved by God as well. It's really a book of wondrous acts.
Congratulations to the choral speakers on getting fourth place in the competition this morning! Even though La Salle PJ won, I'm sure you guys gave your all! Remember, there's always next year.
And, I hear that Jeremy Ong has fallen ill. Hmm. A few friends were wondering where he was during CF. Well, we all wish you a speedy recovery, and we're all praying for you. God bless you. :)
Nat.
Today's Worth
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DANIEL CHIN!
*somewhere in the distance, there's a weird sound of "woi"*
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Tell Me Something
I'm almost off to guitar class now. Just thought I'd do some last minute blogging here and there before I left. You know, everytime I go to Yamaha, I manage to get in three minutes to browse through the aisle of guitars. And always, a certain guitar manages to catch my eye. One day, if I can ever scrape together a few thousand ringgit, that beautiful Epiphone Les Paul Classic will be mine.
Oh yes. I wanted to talk about Recess Revolution in this post. Since I was last week's representative for our little group, I just felt like there was more to say than just "oh we did this and that" and I want to just acknowledge the fact that this, Recess Revo, is something more than students doing stuff like cleaning the canteen, or sweeping the hallways, or carrying bags for teachers.
Recess Revolution is the chance for us Christian students to actually make a change, make an impact in your school or campus or workplace. With just twenty minutes, who knows how much we can get done? Even little things like telling people "God Bless You" can help.
A small group of us Form One's went out during recess to pray for some students. Getting turned down may have been a little disappointing, but we won't give up. We still have next week, and next week, and even next week. It doesn't have to end at recess. It doesn't have to end at school.
Who says you can't help in your home? Who says you can't pray for people you work with? Who says you can't speak about Recess Revo in your church? Who says that you can't still continue to bring revival outside of school?
I may not belong to any church, and I may have been like any other person about six months ago, but I am a changed person because of what Subang Utama's Christian Fellowship has showed me. They showed me that I can still live my life out and still be a student with faith.
I know that God is real, and he is watching over all of us, and I want to do my best to repent for all the bad things that I've done. I know that one day I'll be ready to do all this and more.
And also, I've just realised that I've grown rather fond of the people on CF. They're a wonderful bunch, and Icouldn't have accomplished anything without them. The Form Four's especially, thank you for being so supportive of everything the Form One's decided to do.
To somebody out there:
You know, I'm pretty glad you didn't move to that other school after PMR. I'm really thankful that you stayed with Subang Utama. It is also safe to say that even though you may not see this, I just wanted to say thanks.
Nat.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Thoughts Of The Week
~
Went to school for a meeting this morning. It was fun.
~
Jeremy Yee is related to Dylan Tan. Huh. That's pretty weird.
~
I'm still feeling rather sick with flu and a hacking cough. Quite a few people missed school cause of that.
~
A girl from Rally contracted H1N1, but it's not so serious. We're all praying for her recovery.
~
Guitar exams for me and electone exams for Clovey in August. Oh dear. SYATP is in August.
~
Shia and Choy taught me and Daniel how to work the mixer yesterday. Maybe next year I can be on the tech team for Rally.
~
In two years I will have saved up enough for an acoustic guitar.
~
Ah. My computer has been struck by another virus.
~
Internet, how do you feel about another story from this LJ author?
THE END.
Nat.
Went to school for a meeting this morning. It was fun.
~
Jeremy Yee is related to Dylan Tan. Huh. That's pretty weird.
~
I'm still feeling rather sick with flu and a hacking cough. Quite a few people missed school cause of that.
~
A girl from Rally contracted H1N1, but it's not so serious. We're all praying for her recovery.
~
Guitar exams for me and electone exams for Clovey in August. Oh dear. SYATP is in August.
~
Shia and Choy taught me and Daniel how to work the mixer yesterday. Maybe next year I can be on the tech team for Rally.
~
In two years I will have saved up enough for an acoustic guitar.
~
Ah. My computer has been struck by another virus.
~
Internet, how do you feel about another story from this LJ author?
THE END.
Nat.
Sunday, July 12, 2009
Subang Rally 2009
Subang Rally 2009. I only have one word for it: Amazing.
Let me digress.
PUSH: Push Until Something Happens, the theme for this year's Subang Rally. Push For Change. I think that ever since the Rally was put into motion, more and more people have been pushing to bring more people to God, and in the end, it was an event that really knocked me off my feet.
Sunway University College. A place of prestige and higer education, Sunway College is the perfect venue for this year's Rally. When I got there at 7.20, the first thing that caught my eye was the huge PUSH banner hanging from the second floor balcony. The cafeteria/study area for students at the college was fairly huge, and upon entering, tada: SMKSU ushers bunched together at one of the table next to the tech team.
Ushers: Me, Clovey, Kim, Vi June, Abigail C, Abigail J, Kristine, Jo Ann, Esther, Ken Jiu and a few more.
Security: Daniel, Bryan, Jonathan (he got security usher) and some other people.
Crew: Damien, Ben Goh, Brandon Shia, Hsien Zern, Brandon Choy and more people.
Commitee from SU: Joyce and Jeremy Ong.
Amanda Ooi was head usher, so she was our boss. Ken Jiu, Aaron and Vi June called her 'tai kah je', or 'big sister'. That was a bit funny, aha. We (all us ushers and Jonathan) got posted at the main entrance.
So we went there, after breakfast, and welcomed people.
The Subang Utama way. Oh yes.
We were the most enthusiastic bunch. Lame jokes, Mexican waves, Ultraman dances, Superman poses, lots of Zoom, some Chop Chilli and more lame jokes... I think we scared the others. Aha. We stayed there until 9 or 10, then went up for the conference.
Me and Clovey didn't get our shirts at the beginning, cause they ran out, and I couldn't afford one when I signed up, so I bought one during lunch. Could you believe it, the guys all had white and the girls all had pinkish-purple, but I was the only girl with a white shirt. Made me feel lucky.
We missed our school banner while we were ushering, so we didn't get to cheer. Aww. What a shame. All the hyped-up people were downstairs, while the others were upstairs. When we came up, they had started Session 1's Praise & Worship. There were so many people jumping and dancing and singing... it was an awesome time already. Marcus Pee was the MC for that day, and another girl named Michelle.
The hall was, in three words, stupendously humungously big. And there were enought chairs for seven, eight hundred people. And the stage, just, woah. I love the banner hanging up there too, and around the upper part of the hall, banners for the different schools were hung up. There were speakers and microphones and instruments... woohoo. It was awesome just to see all the gear set up, knowing that they would be put to good use later on that day.
When Session 1's P&W was over, we sat at the front part of the back rows, the closed up parts, and our state assemblyman, Hannah Yeoh spoke for a good fifteen minutes. She spoke of the Christians in Subang, and how we should all never lose faith, for our country needs us, and God has purpose for us all. She was the head prefect of our school, and a CF student. That made me feel proud to be part of SMKSU.
Pastor Daniel Singh came up and preached. He said some good stuff, yes, and his story about never giving up was really inspiring. He pushed his way through obstacles standing in his way, and came out strong. It really did fit the theme of PUSH. A good speaker, and during the altar-call, the ushers and catchers helped with the blankets and tissues. First the participants kneeled down on the floor and just prayed as the woship team played, and also as the pastor prayed for them. Some were crying, and those who had finished praying just went tot he back of the crowd.
A lot of people came up for the call, and Pastor Daniel prayed for all of them. He prayed for the commitees from different schools, the Form 5's, the the Form 1's... I was a bit shocked at the number of people who went down after they were prayed for. The first few committee members who were prayed for were from SU: Brandon Shia, Jeremy Ong, Jeremy Yee, Shaun Ang, Brandon Choy and many more, and when the pastor commanded, "Fall, fall!", they fell. Almost all of them fell into a brief unconsciousness, and at times I was really worried whether they were okay.
It was scary and yet somewhat awed me in this sense that God just touched all of them, and they accepted it so easily, so faithfully, and their belief was so strong. And when Pastor Daniel prayed for the Form 1's, I just heard him speak, and heard the music, and at that moment, I wanted to believe.
My faith wavered years ago, and it nearly faded away completely, but that day, that moment, I found it. Or rather, it found me. And when his voice just called out, "Fall," I did. And it was abrupt, but still. I fell. And I know that I have something I can believe in again. It was an experience I won't forget, but there was more to come.
We had lunch shortly after, and I just had a nice, tall, tin of coffee. Yum. The SU ushers found two table by the bookshop selling candy and, well, books, and sat down to eat, chat and have fun. The speaker was on at one of the nearby tables, so music could be heard throughout the cafeteria. Saw Melissa Khoo and her brother there with their SJ gang. Also, Joshua Raj (not related) and Zhu Wei were there. Joel couldn't come, his mother wouldn't let. Oh well. There's always next year. I got my PUSH badge on my shirt, and I bought a Recess Revolution badge from the stall at the back, AND I bought another PUSH badge. So I had three! And I pinned them all on my SU tie. But I borrowed one PUSH badge to Abby J.
During Session 2, Pastor Andy Yeoh came up and spoke. Ah, Pastor Andy, a definite fun person to be around, and a wonderful preacher.
He told us a parable of the rich son who wanted to get his father the best present ever for Father's Day. The son searched the world, high and low, and every car, every garment, every dish was not good enough. At last, he found it. The last of its own kind, a rare and almost extinct bird which spoke, spoke 50 different languages, could dance and all that cool stuff. So, the son sent it to his father, who was at home. A day later, after Father's Day, the son called the father and asked, "Hey, dad, ah, how was Father's Day?"
"Good, same as usual."
"Uhm, did you get my gift? The bird?"
"Oh, the bird! Yes, I did, thank you so much, son."
"What do you think of it?"
"It was delicious."
Ahahaha. That got people going. I think it was a good story, and it showed that we must know our prupose in life before we made plans. Purpose precedes plans. And, if others don't know what our purpose is, we'll just end up like the bird. Eaten, or in our case, just wasted, left aside, left behind.
And then, the worship team started up as the altar-call went, andwith a newfound bravery I found myself heading up towards the front with the others, and knelt down to pray as well. And in that spur of moments, I was crying, and praying, and just whispering forgiveness for all the sins that I'd comitted in the past, and I just wanted to start over. I just want to live as a better person, a better version of myself.
It was emotional, but I knew it was because I was finally ready to accept Christ into my life. It was a big step for me, but I'm ready, thanks to all those people who supported me through the past few months, the ones who just kept pushing me towards God. Thank you.
I stood up after twenty minutes on the ground, and my legs were all frozen. Heh. I needed tissues too. Seriously, these ushers from other school who were sttending to other couldn't see the tears dripping off my face, and I was like, "Hello? Usher people? Tissue please kay thanks." Clovey was standing at the side with Abby J and Jo Ann, and we just stood there, ready to support the other people who were still in prayer.
We got into circles of three soon after to pray for our schools. Me, Kristine and Jeremy Ong made up one circle at the back, and we just held hands and bowed our heads as he started first. He prayed for me and Kristine, and spoke of how proud he was to see the Form 1's so active in the campaigning of PUSH, and that we would grow to be better people, as well as praying for revival in our school, and that more people would be found by God. Kristine and I prayed after that, and I just blurted out everything I had on my mind. It was all fumbled, but I think they got the gist of what I was trying to say.
Then, after the whole Session had finished, it was time for the two hour break. Me and Clovey wandered around aimlessly, until we met up with Vyona, Jackie and Onn Yee for dinner. There were a couple of stalls behind the University, so we had waffles there. Jackie and the two girls had noodles, and he told us some amusing stories about his class.
Me and Clo went back ahead of them, and being the tomboy I was, I had my hair up in my cap, and wearing the white shirt paired with trousers and sneakers, she said I looked like a guy. Aha, I took that as a compliment. With everything on me, I thought I was the only with with the SU tie, but then as we rounded the corner, Jeremy Ong walked past, and lo and behold, a tie was loosely hanging around his neck. He pointed at mine with a grin, and said, "Semangat betul, aha." I grinned back and nodded at his. We were the only ones with ties, woooo. But I wish the others brought ties too.
Then, me and Clo went to the cafeteria, where SU's ushers, the "gang" were playing Mafia. We joined in, and I killed Aaron Jacob. Mwahaha. Vi June healed himself, and Kim was all, "Weyh, he still alive? Who healed him? Who? I kill him already and then still aive pulak." Ahh, Kim.
Going up to the hall, Amanda and that guy, what's his name, our other usher boss briefed us, and we set to, rushing up and down the stairs to greet people, set up chairs and other things for the night concert. I pulled out my flyer and got a free badge that said, "PUSH >>ME!" and I pinned it on my tie. Yay. I had three on one tie now. And when the people came flooding in, I was one of the escorts, but when I stodd at the back, I saw, yet again Jeremy Ong had three badges on his tie as well.
He "aaa"hed me. I "aaa"hed back. Haha. He was carrying that PUSH banner, not the blue one, but a black one on a pole and it said at the bottom, "SUBANG 4 JESUS". Jeremy Yee, our CF president was holding the school's banner, bot our flag, but a banner with "SUBANG UTAMA" written on it.
Skip all the people coming in, and we started with the procession, Jeremy Ong leading the front. and we had a short sing-off. SU won, well duh. Oh yeah, Joyce came up as well, after the worship team finished with "Nothing Is Impossible" and she introduced the committee for Rally.
Pastor Clement Wong spoke, just after the offering, and the SU gang all sat at the back. I was at the side, next to Jo Ann, and she had a cute book with stars on it. She doodled. Yay. Pastor Clement talked about how God would always be there for us, we had no need to even think about sucidal thoughts, or even giving up. Even though he wasn't as energetic as the first two speakers, he still gave a good sermon.
And when he prayed for the people, I fell down again. Wow. A first. Two times in the same day. Actually, this Rally was the first time I'd actually fell, you know, after someone had prayed for me. And right after I got up, more people were lying on the floor next to me. Then, when more people stepped up, Abby J and Stephanie and I just began to pray for Clovey, with Abby leading. It was sudden impulse, and just through Abby's words and God's touch, Clovey actually fell as well. Abby was a bit shocked, she'd never done that before. Wow. That shows that even if just a student, a student can do wonders as well.
Oh yeah, one more thing. Congratulations goes to Clovey's little brother: Yesterday he accepted Christ into his life, and Clovey's father was like, "Oh my, really? Fantastic!" I wish my parents were that supportive as well. I couldn't even tell them that I had been prayed for. My mom is completely against it.
And when everyone had been prayed for, and the night was almost at a close, the worship team wrapped up with an amazing rendition of Yesus, which is one of my favourites, and Nothing Is Impossible. Everyone up at the front were just jumping and singing our hearts out, for those two were the last songs of the night. It was amazing, and I didn't want it to end, not one bit. But it did, and I'm actually happy to say that I can't wait till next year.
So, all in all, you get my point. Subang Rally 2009 was my first interschool Christian Fellowship Rally, and a lifechanging event it was, from the beginning to the end. And many new friends were made, yes, but the whole reason this Rally was held was to bring people to God, bring people closer to Jesus, and just live by faith. I know many have been touched by God at this Rally, so have I. I just wanted to say as well, I believe.
I believe.
Let me digress.
PUSH: Push Until Something Happens, the theme for this year's Subang Rally. Push For Change. I think that ever since the Rally was put into motion, more and more people have been pushing to bring more people to God, and in the end, it was an event that really knocked me off my feet.
Sunway University College. A place of prestige and higer education, Sunway College is the perfect venue for this year's Rally. When I got there at 7.20, the first thing that caught my eye was the huge PUSH banner hanging from the second floor balcony. The cafeteria/study area for students at the college was fairly huge, and upon entering, tada: SMKSU ushers bunched together at one of the table next to the tech team.
Ushers: Me, Clovey, Kim, Vi June, Abigail C, Abigail J, Kristine, Jo Ann, Esther, Ken Jiu and a few more.
Security: Daniel, Bryan, Jonathan (he got security usher) and some other people.
Crew: Damien, Ben Goh, Brandon Shia, Hsien Zern, Brandon Choy and more people.
Commitee from SU: Joyce and Jeremy Ong.
Amanda Ooi was head usher, so she was our boss. Ken Jiu, Aaron and Vi June called her 'tai kah je', or 'big sister'. That was a bit funny, aha. We (all us ushers and Jonathan) got posted at the main entrance.
So we went there, after breakfast, and welcomed people.
The Subang Utama way. Oh yes.
We were the most enthusiastic bunch. Lame jokes, Mexican waves, Ultraman dances, Superman poses, lots of Zoom, some Chop Chilli and more lame jokes... I think we scared the others. Aha. We stayed there until 9 or 10, then went up for the conference.
Me and Clovey didn't get our shirts at the beginning, cause they ran out, and I couldn't afford one when I signed up, so I bought one during lunch. Could you believe it, the guys all had white and the girls all had pinkish-purple, but I was the only girl with a white shirt. Made me feel lucky.
We missed our school banner while we were ushering, so we didn't get to cheer. Aww. What a shame. All the hyped-up people were downstairs, while the others were upstairs. When we came up, they had started Session 1's Praise & Worship. There were so many people jumping and dancing and singing... it was an awesome time already. Marcus Pee was the MC for that day, and another girl named Michelle.
The hall was, in three words, stupendously humungously big. And there were enought chairs for seven, eight hundred people. And the stage, just, woah. I love the banner hanging up there too, and around the upper part of the hall, banners for the different schools were hung up. There were speakers and microphones and instruments... woohoo. It was awesome just to see all the gear set up, knowing that they would be put to good use later on that day.
When Session 1's P&W was over, we sat at the front part of the back rows, the closed up parts, and our state assemblyman, Hannah Yeoh spoke for a good fifteen minutes. She spoke of the Christians in Subang, and how we should all never lose faith, for our country needs us, and God has purpose for us all. She was the head prefect of our school, and a CF student. That made me feel proud to be part of SMKSU.
Pastor Daniel Singh came up and preached. He said some good stuff, yes, and his story about never giving up was really inspiring. He pushed his way through obstacles standing in his way, and came out strong. It really did fit the theme of PUSH. A good speaker, and during the altar-call, the ushers and catchers helped with the blankets and tissues. First the participants kneeled down on the floor and just prayed as the woship team played, and also as the pastor prayed for them. Some were crying, and those who had finished praying just went tot he back of the crowd.
A lot of people came up for the call, and Pastor Daniel prayed for all of them. He prayed for the commitees from different schools, the Form 5's, the the Form 1's... I was a bit shocked at the number of people who went down after they were prayed for. The first few committee members who were prayed for were from SU: Brandon Shia, Jeremy Ong, Jeremy Yee, Shaun Ang, Brandon Choy and many more, and when the pastor commanded, "Fall, fall!", they fell. Almost all of them fell into a brief unconsciousness, and at times I was really worried whether they were okay.
It was scary and yet somewhat awed me in this sense that God just touched all of them, and they accepted it so easily, so faithfully, and their belief was so strong. And when Pastor Daniel prayed for the Form 1's, I just heard him speak, and heard the music, and at that moment, I wanted to believe.
My faith wavered years ago, and it nearly faded away completely, but that day, that moment, I found it. Or rather, it found me. And when his voice just called out, "Fall," I did. And it was abrupt, but still. I fell. And I know that I have something I can believe in again. It was an experience I won't forget, but there was more to come.
We had lunch shortly after, and I just had a nice, tall, tin of coffee. Yum. The SU ushers found two table by the bookshop selling candy and, well, books, and sat down to eat, chat and have fun. The speaker was on at one of the nearby tables, so music could be heard throughout the cafeteria. Saw Melissa Khoo and her brother there with their SJ gang. Also, Joshua Raj (not related) and Zhu Wei were there. Joel couldn't come, his mother wouldn't let. Oh well. There's always next year. I got my PUSH badge on my shirt, and I bought a Recess Revolution badge from the stall at the back, AND I bought another PUSH badge. So I had three! And I pinned them all on my SU tie. But I borrowed one PUSH badge to Abby J.
During Session 2, Pastor Andy Yeoh came up and spoke. Ah, Pastor Andy, a definite fun person to be around, and a wonderful preacher.
He told us a parable of the rich son who wanted to get his father the best present ever for Father's Day. The son searched the world, high and low, and every car, every garment, every dish was not good enough. At last, he found it. The last of its own kind, a rare and almost extinct bird which spoke, spoke 50 different languages, could dance and all that cool stuff. So, the son sent it to his father, who was at home. A day later, after Father's Day, the son called the father and asked, "Hey, dad, ah, how was Father's Day?"
"Good, same as usual."
"Uhm, did you get my gift? The bird?"
"Oh, the bird! Yes, I did, thank you so much, son."
"What do you think of it?"
"It was delicious."
Ahahaha. That got people going. I think it was a good story, and it showed that we must know our prupose in life before we made plans. Purpose precedes plans. And, if others don't know what our purpose is, we'll just end up like the bird. Eaten, or in our case, just wasted, left aside, left behind.
And then, the worship team started up as the altar-call went, andwith a newfound bravery I found myself heading up towards the front with the others, and knelt down to pray as well. And in that spur of moments, I was crying, and praying, and just whispering forgiveness for all the sins that I'd comitted in the past, and I just wanted to start over. I just want to live as a better person, a better version of myself.
It was emotional, but I knew it was because I was finally ready to accept Christ into my life. It was a big step for me, but I'm ready, thanks to all those people who supported me through the past few months, the ones who just kept pushing me towards God. Thank you.
I stood up after twenty minutes on the ground, and my legs were all frozen. Heh. I needed tissues too. Seriously, these ushers from other school who were sttending to other couldn't see the tears dripping off my face, and I was like, "Hello? Usher people? Tissue please kay thanks." Clovey was standing at the side with Abby J and Jo Ann, and we just stood there, ready to support the other people who were still in prayer.
We got into circles of three soon after to pray for our schools. Me, Kristine and Jeremy Ong made up one circle at the back, and we just held hands and bowed our heads as he started first. He prayed for me and Kristine, and spoke of how proud he was to see the Form 1's so active in the campaigning of PUSH, and that we would grow to be better people, as well as praying for revival in our school, and that more people would be found by God. Kristine and I prayed after that, and I just blurted out everything I had on my mind. It was all fumbled, but I think they got the gist of what I was trying to say.
Then, after the whole Session had finished, it was time for the two hour break. Me and Clovey wandered around aimlessly, until we met up with Vyona, Jackie and Onn Yee for dinner. There were a couple of stalls behind the University, so we had waffles there. Jackie and the two girls had noodles, and he told us some amusing stories about his class.
Me and Clo went back ahead of them, and being the tomboy I was, I had my hair up in my cap, and wearing the white shirt paired with trousers and sneakers, she said I looked like a guy. Aha, I took that as a compliment. With everything on me, I thought I was the only with with the SU tie, but then as we rounded the corner, Jeremy Ong walked past, and lo and behold, a tie was loosely hanging around his neck. He pointed at mine with a grin, and said, "Semangat betul, aha." I grinned back and nodded at his. We were the only ones with ties, woooo. But I wish the others brought ties too.
Then, me and Clo went to the cafeteria, where SU's ushers, the "gang" were playing Mafia. We joined in, and I killed Aaron Jacob. Mwahaha. Vi June healed himself, and Kim was all, "Weyh, he still alive? Who healed him? Who? I kill him already and then still aive pulak." Ahh, Kim.
Going up to the hall, Amanda and that guy, what's his name, our other usher boss briefed us, and we set to, rushing up and down the stairs to greet people, set up chairs and other things for the night concert. I pulled out my flyer and got a free badge that said, "PUSH >>ME!" and I pinned it on my tie. Yay. I had three on one tie now. And when the people came flooding in, I was one of the escorts, but when I stodd at the back, I saw, yet again Jeremy Ong had three badges on his tie as well.
He "aaa"hed me. I "aaa"hed back. Haha. He was carrying that PUSH banner, not the blue one, but a black one on a pole and it said at the bottom, "SUBANG 4 JESUS". Jeremy Yee, our CF president was holding the school's banner, bot our flag, but a banner with "SUBANG UTAMA" written on it.
Skip all the people coming in, and we started with the procession, Jeremy Ong leading the front. and we had a short sing-off. SU won, well duh. Oh yeah, Joyce came up as well, after the worship team finished with "Nothing Is Impossible" and she introduced the committee for Rally.
Pastor Clement Wong spoke, just after the offering, and the SU gang all sat at the back. I was at the side, next to Jo Ann, and she had a cute book with stars on it. She doodled. Yay. Pastor Clement talked about how God would always be there for us, we had no need to even think about sucidal thoughts, or even giving up. Even though he wasn't as energetic as the first two speakers, he still gave a good sermon.
And when he prayed for the people, I fell down again. Wow. A first. Two times in the same day. Actually, this Rally was the first time I'd actually fell, you know, after someone had prayed for me. And right after I got up, more people were lying on the floor next to me. Then, when more people stepped up, Abby J and Stephanie and I just began to pray for Clovey, with Abby leading. It was sudden impulse, and just through Abby's words and God's touch, Clovey actually fell as well. Abby was a bit shocked, she'd never done that before. Wow. That shows that even if just a student, a student can do wonders as well.
Oh yeah, one more thing. Congratulations goes to Clovey's little brother: Yesterday he accepted Christ into his life, and Clovey's father was like, "Oh my, really? Fantastic!" I wish my parents were that supportive as well. I couldn't even tell them that I had been prayed for. My mom is completely against it.
And when everyone had been prayed for, and the night was almost at a close, the worship team wrapped up with an amazing rendition of Yesus, which is one of my favourites, and Nothing Is Impossible. Everyone up at the front were just jumping and singing our hearts out, for those two were the last songs of the night. It was amazing, and I didn't want it to end, not one bit. But it did, and I'm actually happy to say that I can't wait till next year.
So, all in all, you get my point. Subang Rally 2009 was my first interschool Christian Fellowship Rally, and a lifechanging event it was, from the beginning to the end. And many new friends were made, yes, but the whole reason this Rally was held was to bring people to God, bring people closer to Jesus, and just live by faith. I know many have been touched by God at this Rally, so have I. I just wanted to say as well, I believe.
I believe.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Revival Is Coming
Today's CF was rather cool. We broke out the electric guitars, mwahaha. Too bad the mixer was already at Sunway College for Rally tomorrow. And one of the microphone wires was busted. Awh well. The curtains weren't up, but the slides were. Joyce did the slides today, and Reuben, Jeremy and Shia played. Damien sang.
Mr Jeremy Ong brought his Japanese Ephiphone Les Paul today. I love that thing. Sleek, shiny, perfectly tuned and better sounding than any Gibson; just, wow. One day, I'll get a guitar to match that, and hopefully I can play as well as he does.
Chan Tong was the speaker today, and he said some stuff about the five D's. I can't remember all of them, but Decievement, Disappointment and Distractment. Those are three things we should avoid, all just temptation.
Oh, and RECESS REVOLUTIONNNN!!!!!
We gave out sweets, Mentos and Fruity thingys (I can't remember, but they were PURPLEEE) to the afternoon session teachers. Some of them had a pleasantly surprised look, and the others were actually rather touched by our actions. We gave some to the canteen workers too. Just wish the bookshop lady was there so we coul've given her too.
RALLY IS TOMORROWWWWW!!!!!!
I can't believe it's almost Rally. Just 11 hours away.
I'm so excited.
No words for now. Will be back after rally.
Hang tight.
nish.
Mr Jeremy Ong brought his Japanese Ephiphone Les Paul today. I love that thing. Sleek, shiny, perfectly tuned and better sounding than any Gibson; just, wow. One day, I'll get a guitar to match that, and hopefully I can play as well as he does.
Chan Tong was the speaker today, and he said some stuff about the five D's. I can't remember all of them, but Decievement, Disappointment and Distractment. Those are three things we should avoid, all just temptation.
Oh, and RECESS REVOLUTIONNNN!!!!!
We gave out sweets, Mentos and Fruity thingys (I can't remember, but they were PURPLEEE) to the afternoon session teachers. Some of them had a pleasantly surprised look, and the others were actually rather touched by our actions. We gave some to the canteen workers too. Just wish the bookshop lady was there so we coul've given her too.
RALLY IS TOMORROWWWWW!!!!!!
I can't believe it's almost Rally. Just 11 hours away.
I'm so excited.
No words for now. Will be back after rally.
Hang tight.
nish.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Wake Me Up
As my memory rests,
But never forgets what I lost,
Wake me up,
When September ends.
I love this song.
Still Campaigning For My Life
I am going to bare my darkest secrets in this post, for I feel I cannot handle the pressure of keeping everything in anymore, and I just need people to know. I don't care if nobody types in the chatbox, or IMs me, or even looks at my blog. I just want to to be out in the open.
I'm beginning to rediscover my faith after all these years. Thanks to so many people from the wonderful Christian Fellowship at SMKSU, I have something, finally, something to believe in again.
My life has had its ups and downs, many downs which I wish never had happened, including my mother's hatred for my father after discovering his affair with a friend of his, and their almost divorce. Divorce. A word every child, teenager or adult should never know. Sadly, I know it very well, and just two years ago I was torn between the choice of my mother or my father. My sister was only ever happy to go back to her roots, my Chinese family in Perak, but I, I just... it was a choice that didn't entirely belong to me.
These fights over the years led up to just more and more heartbreak, until I couldn't even take it anymore. I cried every night, and it was just too painful to bear. My sister, I was concerned about, but other than that, my life practically had no meaning. Then, they reconciled last year.
This year, it started again. And this year I found out about my dad's unfaithfulness to my mother. Wrath caused me to release my anger on the mirror hanging on the wall , and my hand hurt so bad after. Even after the wounds closed, I could still feel the sting when I found out.
Time after time I messed up, screwed up, strifed and got into trouble. I'm basically an unlucky person.
But, worse, now.
Why does eveything bad happen to me? I don't know, I just don't know anymore.
My uncle has only months to live, after finding out he had an unoperable tumour lodged deep in his brain. Even as I type this, I feel tears building up behind my eyes. I am typing this as my mother and sister are at the grocery store, and my father at my cousins' house, and I must finish before she returns.
Oh no. She's back. I will finish this later. But for now, I will close with a message.
I'm sorry.
I'm beginning to rediscover my faith after all these years. Thanks to so many people from the wonderful Christian Fellowship at SMKSU, I have something, finally, something to believe in again.
My life has had its ups and downs, many downs which I wish never had happened, including my mother's hatred for my father after discovering his affair with a friend of his, and their almost divorce. Divorce. A word every child, teenager or adult should never know. Sadly, I know it very well, and just two years ago I was torn between the choice of my mother or my father. My sister was only ever happy to go back to her roots, my Chinese family in Perak, but I, I just... it was a choice that didn't entirely belong to me.
These fights over the years led up to just more and more heartbreak, until I couldn't even take it anymore. I cried every night, and it was just too painful to bear. My sister, I was concerned about, but other than that, my life practically had no meaning. Then, they reconciled last year.
This year, it started again. And this year I found out about my dad's unfaithfulness to my mother. Wrath caused me to release my anger on the mirror hanging on the wall , and my hand hurt so bad after. Even after the wounds closed, I could still feel the sting when I found out.
Time after time I messed up, screwed up, strifed and got into trouble. I'm basically an unlucky person.
But, worse, now.
Why does eveything bad happen to me? I don't know, I just don't know anymore.
My uncle has only months to live, after finding out he had an unoperable tumour lodged deep in his brain. Even as I type this, I feel tears building up behind my eyes. I am typing this as my mother and sister are at the grocery store, and my father at my cousins' house, and I must finish before she returns.
Oh no. She's back. I will finish this later. But for now, I will close with a message.
I'm sorry.
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